The Zen of Forgiveness

Let Go Summary: My journey of letting go.

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Part of my problem is that I was imprisoned in my own hell, and I was only perpetuating my suffering long term. Because I could'nt let go, I refused to let go. I have a really bad perception or cognitive distortion regarding my definitions of boundaries and forgiveness. Also, forgiveness seemed to be saying to myself that it was alright to continue being victimized or "taken for a ride" or "taken advantage of" or being ok with "being treated like shit".

To even complicate matters further I have PTSD/cPTSD, OCD with hyperthymesia. Hyperthymesia in a nutshell is very unique nuerological condition to remember practically single detail of their life. An acronym for it is Higly Superior Autobiographical Memory or (HSAM). So when I feel I have been wronged, or betrayed. When I really have been abused, betrayed, wronged, hurt etc. It seems to last forever (or better yet it does last forever), and I can't let this go it seem.

You can see how in my mind it is literally the perfect storm built-in, for me to NEVER LET GO.

One thing that myself and the rest of humanity are pretty good at is being "Dualistic" in our thinking. Just so bad, so tragic.

One thing about the past incontrovertibly, concretely is that it is gone, these moments and experiences only live within our minds and souls, they are the ghosts or detritus of these things for they are non-existent in the world. We cling to them, so tightly.

I have more than obsessed upon my past in so many differing ways and aspects.

So I have read some pretty decent pieces regarding Forgiveness. What I have list below are some of the more hard-hitting truths that I have gleaned from a short 3 page paper by Anh-Huong Nguyen entitled "Forgiveness and Buddhism".

But sometimes when we suffer so much, we just can’t forgive. Or we don’t want to forgive. We are afraid that if we forgive someone for his cruel act, our suffering won’t be adequately heard. So we let these acts of cruelty continue. In the midst of our pain and fear, we remember everything except that the other person caused us to suffer because he has so much suffering in his heart.

-- Anh-Huong

The Power of Forgiveness Forgiveness and Buddhism

*Page 1.

Without understanding and compassion, which are the fruits of the practice of calming and deep looking, the endless cycle of resentment, anger, fear, despair and suffering will continue to turn; and we will continue to suffer, one generation after another.

-- Anh-Huong

The Power of Forgiveness Forgiveness and Buddhism

*Page 2.

Dualistic thinking is misleading. It can encourage a belief that good and evil are enemies and that good needs always to be fighting evil. This kind of theology causes a lot of suffering and destruction.

-- Anh-Huong

The Power of Forgiveness Forgiveness and Buddhism

*Page 2.

The practice of forgiveness is the practice of understanding and compassion. Understanding is the substance of true love and true compassion. If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and action can bring about a miracle.

-- Anh-Huong

The Power of Forgiveness Forgiveness and Buddhism

*Page 2.

Zen Habits

Youth of Today -- Time To Forgive

In the back of my
It keeps me on edge!
A soul filled with love,
But I can't help
But feel contempt instead
So let's forget the past and
The grudges that we hold
If you don't do it soon
You know it will explode.
Let's shape a better way to live!
Time to forgive!
I'm sorry for the bottled up anger
What was it about?
It's time to forgive
I'm glad that it's all over now!

One lesson that brother Ananda realized is that resentment is always about the past, but it takes place in the present. It also intensifies over time every time we relive that experience in our mind. To deal effectively with the anger present in the here and now about things and people that existed there and then, brother Ananda said we must examine and challenge the usual pattern of how our thoughts create anger in our mind.

-- Zen Sense

Bernie Glassman - Dharma Talk - Forgiveness

I know it's hard, but at least try to try to Leg it all Go and Forgive. It's time, way past the time to do this. What are you holding on to? When will you let it go? At Death? At your Friends death? At the Death of your enemy? At the Death of your Brother or Sister?

Pay attention!